Wow I haven't updated this baby in a long time. To be honest, I think i actually forgot about the existence of this until a couple days ago..


Well, life since may has been VERY interesting. SO MUCH has happened in these months. things that sometimes i wish didn't happen.. but yet am secretly glad that they did. And in the end, I am a firm believer of how everything kinda just happens for a reason and how our lives have been somewhat pre-determined by some intelligent being. Yea I'm crazy.


But I think that's a form of defense mechanism.. it keeps me from being depressed? when things go wrong.


As the year is coming to an end, I'm slowly coming up with a mental list of goals and things I like to get done or change for the better for the next year. Thinking back, this year was quite a good year. A lot of unexpected things happened- things that I had only dreamed of happening in the past happened. As said- sometimes not necessarily a GOOD thing, but hey. It's life, and I would pretty much say that if there was a time machine and I was given the chance to redo some of these things, I would've probably done the same thing and taken all those chances I took anyway. Bottom line is: I learned, and it was fun.

Now, I do this whole new year resolution list almost every year on xanga. Some year they'd be private and some they'd be public.. I did some digging and found my last year's list. Let's see how I did.


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School:
I mentioned that school was finally getting difficult, and how I would not procrastinate and cram everything the day before the exam. Yeah, still the same old me. That hasn't changed. Although now I think I have better excuses to be doing that than I did a year ago. Hah.

Work:
I said how I was intern-less because I was too lazy to get around and apply to anywhere. HEY HEY HEY lemme check this off! I guess a new goal for this year is to get hired as a full time. :D

Family:
I said I would make an effort to spend more time with family and I believe to a certain extent, that effort was there but it's probably something I still need to work on. I know this is a shitty excuse, but there's just no time! :(

Friends:
I said how sometimes I felt like I was the WORST friend ever because of how MIA I could get at times. Well, I'm not sure if I've become better at being reachable, especially with all the dumb phones I've had. BUT I would say though, I felt like I've hung out with my friends A LOT more this year than ever. New friends and old friends. I'm happy. I also got to meet and hang out with a lot of new friends this year- which was refreshing. And a lot of them are such cool people I'm so glad they're in my life. Tehe.

Now to the resolutions I made last year..

1) Be on time, better yet be 5 minutes early
-You know, this is tough. I mean in general.. I would say I am pretty good with this. Although I know someone would probably disagree, but that's an exception. And I would say in most cases where I HAVE TO ABSOLUTELY be on time, I will be there on time. Not early.. but on time. YEEEEa

2) Be less judgmental:
-Ok, this is another one where I feel like I've made some progress and but is something I will need to work on. I feel that I've become more open minded in accepting people and not judging people so quickly. But, I'm not sure if this is something that can truly be changed. I think everyone judges and those who claim they don't are just in denial. I think judging someone is simply a way of having your own opinion and having that is not necessarily a bad thing. But what I think it's more important is giving people an opportunity to show you who they really are. True story- but my first impressions of some of my close frds now were not the greatest and had i been so ignorant and decided to not be their friends, man oh man, i would've missed out on a whole lot in life. Amen for that.

3) Be more loving and kind
-I think this was my way of saying. STOP hating.
Yea, I am still a hater. But I'm probably just hating cause I'm jealous. Yee. you heard right.
I think I will change this resolution to be "get less jealous of others and appreciate myself more" lolol

4) Plan/Work ahead
-Meh, I think i almost want to cross this out of my resolution list forever because this has been a fail for many years and I am just starting to think that maybe this is just how I function best. I think I am pretty spontaneous.. and I just don't really like to plan AHEAD. Or at least not FAR ahead.. because YOU CANT PREDICT THINGS and why waste time to plan and things almost never go your way anyway. I'm just sayin.

5) Sleep with a happy thought in mind. Every night.
-This wasn't so applicable this year because of how sleep-deprived I was. I think every night I would be so tired and drained out that I would be asleep within SECONDS. Not exaggerating. Some have experienced this first hand-unfortunately.

6) Get 7 hours of sleep daily.
- This was a COMPLETE fail and maybe I should lower my standard and be content with 6. But gosh, I love sleeping so much.

7) Keep my words.
-Yea.. ok another to be improved on.. but YES i think I've tried really hard to do so. And also not being a "flaker". Maybe not to the jackasses that don't bother keeping their words. They deserve their own medicine.

8) Be forgiving.
-AHAHAH I can't quite say I'm more forgiving now but I would have to say that I've grown up more and learned to be less bitter with things and just let go of stupid shit that I have no control over. Y'know. So in the back of my mind, I might still be upset over whatever situation it was but I'm most likely over it.. You know what it is.. i forgive but i don't forget. Yea that sounds about right.

9) Exercise+Eat healthy + drink 8 cups of water
OK THIS WAS A COMPLETE fail.. let's try this again

10) Be less materialistic and do treasure the things I have
I think I did well on this. I didn't buy a whole lot of "useless" stuff thing year, but then it all depends on what you define as useless. Haha.. but I've realized in recent months that i don't spend most of my money on items but rather on FOOD and gas. wahh. it sucks to love eating (out).

11) Care less
OOOOH I think I did well in this one. I said that I felt as though I cared too much about what others thought of me. While I still care now, I think I just care less. It's good. I like this.



K the end. This was yet another long entry but I haven't blogged in months so this should make up for it.
I'm still in the process of coming up with a list of to-accomplish list for next year. But 2012 should be an exciting year!



<3

so.. "things" have calmed down a lot.
and i want what i can't have.

bleh.